A Night to Myself

My mom and I had an interesting conversation this morning about taking care of oneself. Last night instead of going to her meditation circle, my mom chose to go home and rest. She recently recovered from a tenacious chest cold that knocked her low, and she felt like she needed a break from her schedule. She's on the mend, but her acupuncturist told her that she needs to listen carefully to herself and rest when she needs it. He said that our culture doesn't know when to be still, and his observation struck a chord with me.

Giving myself permission not to do anything is really difficult. I know I can't possibly be the only mom who feels this way, because when I look around me, all I can see are the things that need to be done. There's always laundry, dirty dishes, and some toddler mess to rectify. The dog needs to go out, a floor vacuumed, and a meal needs to be prepared. How can I possibly take a break? Besides, I love cooking and taking care of my family. Most days it doesn't feel like a chore, but I'm learning that staying at home has its own unique stresses.

Of course, I didn't realize that I needed a break until my patience had frayed to the point where I was ready to bite anyone who came close to me. Not the example you want to set for your child. So the Husband and I made an arrangement that two nights a week I "clock out" at 5:00 p.m. and go off to have an evening by myself. Sometimes I head to the coffee shop with my laptop or go lose myself in the library. My favorite 'night out' is taking a foreign film upstairs to watch in bed all by my lonesome.

I love Chinese and Japanese films, particularly if they're set in feudal times with a sword fight thrown in for good measure. The arrangement is perfect, because Charlie gets testy with subtitles and claims that there's no point in watching because your favorite character will end up dead at the end. True, in Chinese and Japanese cinema they're not afraid to kill off the hero. But the wonderful stories! I just watched Raise a Red Lantern which had no fighting, and the heroine didn't die. She went mad, but she didn't die. 

I close that bedroom door with a mug of tea and a bowl of popcorn, and I'm gone. Two and a half hours later I open the door and am refreshed and ready to face my world again. I'm learning that sometimes it's lovely to be alone.

Comments

[Amy O]

Ill petition the Hubs for a third. ~Amy

[Mady]

This is awesome. Please add a third night, and I will join you with the tea and popcorn and the subtitles. It'll be like going to the mattresses again.

[Amy O]

Thanks for the recommendations! I just added Riding Alone to our movie queue. I enjoyed Hero but was disappointed by The Curse for its lackluster plot. Like you said, both movies are a treat visually. Next up is Farewell My Concubine. Have you read Memoirs of a Geisha? I love, love, love that book. The movie couldnt possibly live up to the book, but the cinematography is wonderful. And the score! Just thinking about Yo Yo Ma and the cello score gives me goosebumps. ~Amy  

[Melissa]

I will have to give Raise a Red Lantern a try. I would recommend Hero with Jet Li (sometimes called "Quentin Tarantino presents Hero"), also The Curse of the Golden Flower-- both very visually pleasing, and Riding Alone for Thousands of Miles.

[Amy O]

That quiet house is music to my ears. Good for you to take advantage of it! ~Amy

[Amy O]

Now I just need you to come in and stage it so it will look like the retreat it has become. Then youll have to sit yourself down and watch a movie with me. ~Amy

[Kathy Turner Seiders]

You're definately right on with this. I RARELY get time alone. (a very occurance with 4 children). So I usually jump at the chance to stay home when my husband goes visiting and the kids want to tag along. Harmony (3) stays with me so I put her to bed and enjoy a quiet house. Of course, I do enjoy all the clamor most of the time, but alone time definately rocks!

[Christine]

Good for you Suzie Q! Sounds like just what you need.