Our morning began with cherry tomatoes, out of season but eaten with relish, the seeds dribbling down a certain someone's chin as she munched with glee.

In her jammies and on the table, no less. She knows dang well she's not supposed to be on top of the table, and my admonishments slow her down not one whit.

Like the crazy bear hairdo? Mother Nature has made her hair as untamed as Little Bear herself, and she has taken to baring her teeth when she's displeased about a motherly order. Here I told her I was going to pick her up and place her two paws back on the floor. That little sucker bared her teeth at me without uttering a word, but I got the message. I was sorta relieved that it wasn't accompanied by a growl.
Feeling juvenile and useless and completely un-motherly, I bared my teeth right back. I am the Mummy! I thought loudly in my head. I will give you the claw! (Flashing a claw is a warning in bear speak.) I thought these things but bit my tongue, maneuvering Her Protesting Squirminess back to the floor. To distract us both from a full-blown contest of wills which I'm not at all convinced that I would win, I showed her the dress I had finished the previous evening.
Ok, ok...it was supposed to be the dress she wore to her birthday party. *cough* Three weeks ago. At least it's finished, right? And Little Bear did seem to like it.

And she's back on the d-a-m-n table again. Where are the park rangers when you need them?


Aren't they the cutest puffed sleeves ever? I'm certain they're the finest ever sewn in all the history of puffed sleeves. Four days before Little Bear's birthday party, I attached the sleeves then stepped back to admire my work. It was the first time I had ever attempted such a thing, and I was quite proud of myself. I showed The Husband and Little Bear, maybe even had the dog look too. I knew he was impressed, because he woke up enough from his nap to open one eye.
As I returned to the instructions and got to the part about button holes (another first for me) I realized that the bodice had no front opening. I had mistakenly cut it on the fold...leaving no (insert curse word) opening. All my soaring pride came crashing down in a flaming ball of...poo. How could I have made such a stupid first-timer mistake? Oh that's right...I was jabbering away in a conversation completely unrelated (I remember something about birdseed) to what I was doing and had only given the layout a cursory glance as I chatted.
Maybe, I thought desperately, it will fit over Little Bear's head anyway. She was sitting on the couch as I approached her with the bodice in one hand, like sidling up to a mountain lion clutching a sandwich bag. Here kitty, put your head in this. Swiftly I had it on her head and gave a tug. "Ouch, Mama," Little Bear said. The protest sounded half-hearted. I pulled harder. "OW, MAMA!" Alright, she was serious. I had to concede defeat and accept a long tete-a-tete with my ripper or settle for sewing the bear an exceedingly floppy sun hat.
So I ripped. And ripped some more. By the time I had dismantled everything, including my outstanding puffed sleeves (sob), I was ready to let the project sit. Not indefinitely. But long enough so that the next time I saw it I wouldn't burst into mad tears. It took me two weeks after Little Bear's birthday to cut out the front pieces again and sew the bodice together. Despite the setback, the pattern was fairly simple, just like it said on the package. Perhaps they should put in parentheses below it: SIMPLE IF YOU PAY ATTENTION TO WHAT YOU'RE DOING. FORGET THE BIRDSEED.
Duly noted.
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